::hugs:: It's never easy to lose a pet, hon, even if it's expected. :(

My Old Dog had had several mini-strokes, but she was still eating and stuff, but not really "all there." Then she had a massive stroke in my lap, and all I could do was hold her. She lived through it, but I had to have her put to sleep the next day. I'd had her for fourteen years. I feel your pain. :(