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| Mental Illness: People Say I'm Crazy. | ||||
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- Mood:
busy

Get your own valentinr
Please give me Valentines flist! I has none *points to empty widget*
( my valentine postbox )
http://www.goodvibes.com/ NSFW
http://gaypornforgirls.blogspot.com/
http://www.now.org/
http://www.vday.org/main.html
http://www.rainn.org/
Now to go read the entries on Valentine_Smut and Halfamoon and 14Valentines
I will begin updating with the roundup of my last couple months etc. and New Years resolutions soon
FOB SHOW?
I AM WILLING TO PAY AT LEAST DOUBLE WHAT YOU PAID
JUST THINK, A NEW PERSON TO SUCK INTO BANDSLASH AND READ YOUR FIC. I WILL BAKE YOU COOKIES/EXCHANGE SEXUAL FAVORS/ GIVE YOU MY SOUL ETC. FOR TICKETS
*CROSSES FINGERS AND TOES REALLY REALLY HARD*
SORRY FOR THE BIG FONT LOL
http://www.jenasix.org/
http://www.whileseated.org/photo/00
http://www.freethejena6.org/

Also learn about white privilege
http://seamonkey.ed.asu.edu/~mcisaac/em
My pirate name is:
Red Charity Bonney

Passion is a big part of your life, which makes sense for a pirate. You can be a little bit unpredictable, but a pirate's life is far from full of certainties, so that fits in pretty well. Arr!
Get your own pirate name from piratequiz.com.
part of the fidius.org network
So that whole "remind myself to post more and have others remind me " thing didn't really work out huh? (Thanks anyway SailorScully!)
Ok so heres a confession, For months, maybe even a year of more, I didn't read my flist
Feel free to defriend me now! :-)
The reason is the reading of my flist was becoming too frustrating, I have OCD, really bad. Its gotten ALOT better with meds and therapy, But I still have relapses and rituals,over the past 2 years maybe I have developed a ritual of rereading everything multiple times, even just words and random sentences. Its the reason I have still not finished DH or even HBP, (although I am spoiled for both, it sucks to be a slow reader,and some people have already stopped cutting for spoilers, which is ok). This really hurts me, as a big time reader and someone who read earlier HP books in days.
This also hurts because I read ALL the entries on my flist, (because this is the one thing I'm a completist at)no matter how long or boring,or i did until i started using filters(thank god for filters, and tags omg) My flist posts A LOT, EVERYDAY, )its hard to keep up for a normal person! But how the flist feature works is its only skips back =995 ( unless theres a trick to get around that?) and when someone updates the qeue pushs back and and entry at the very end of the qeue is deleted off the calender, so you cant skip a whole month back (WHICH SUCKS and should be changed) It takes about a week to fill up with all new posts (at least on my flist) If someone posts something on MONDAY and i backread my flist next THURSDAY its too late to see that post. I finally figured out that Instead of reading backwards I should read foreword, less lost posts and makes more sense, and ihave to start reading on Friday or the weekend if I ever wanna be finished for next week, If im not able to start that weekend i never mind reading my flist and just store it all on GOOGLE DOCS to read it later (read: never)See how much frustrating logic stuff it takes and what i small window i have to do this?
I know im overreacting and working too hard and making myself crazy on whats supposed to be a simple fun thing. But the whole point of LJ and fandom is to interact, and even if I cant talk back to people because i have no talent to contribute and am shy and stupid, I CAN KEEP UP WITH THE CONVERSATION IF IT KILLS ME!
Ok back to saving my flist to GOOGLE DOCS, I'm to last Sat/Sun! I'm on skip=400, and I'm stopping when i hit yesterday(Monday) to start all over again! Maybe when I'm finished I can post again.
PS. This also causes a problem with switching to another journal service, no way to take my WHOLE flist with me
- Location:making myself crazy
- Mood:
exhausted
I have some stuff to talk abou(DH, Shark Week ,Strikthrough, SG-1) but cannot seem remind myself to post about it, so this is my reminder to myself in public text where others can call me on my procrastination if they so wish :-)
http://hesychasm.livejournal.com/115582.h
Also the most perfect HP vid I have ever seen. I makes me shiver.
- Location:The end of an era
- Mood:
contemplative - Music:Hedwigs theme , in my head
So i start sobbing again and I think oh shit my cat! So as soon as we get home i scream my lungs out calling for the cat and he comes in the house and he seems fine. My mom calls to say shes coming home right now and picking up my sister on the way. I try to calm down and watch the news with my grandpa , Oh god you guys the local new channel is showing the riots and the victims and i feel like I'm gonna throw up. My grandpa just shakes his head and says he use to see shit like this in the war. So my neighbor comes over with some survival supplies and while he's there the news says there is a immediate disaster warning and to evacuate to the middle school because theres a bomb shelter in the basement. But mom and my sister aren't home and my grandpa is really old so we cant go yet. My neighbor invites us his house. They haves guns and a sword in the house because both parents are Navy reserves and the moms an FBI agent.
So we waited at their house for like 4 hours and we can hear helicopters,now I live in a little humpty town in NH and we get a helicopter or plane over head a couple times a month at best but this was like 5 helicopter all in the space of like 10 minutes, and by that time theories were all over the internet about the cause and somebody suggested ZOMBIES! I'M LIKE HAHAHAH WHATEVER but 15 minutes later there is a loud crash by the front door and my fearless neighbor runs over and looks out the window and there are people out on the lawn. My dad told me to stay away from the windows but I peeked and it was total Romero, really cliche with wounds and ripped clothes and dead white eyes. Then I swear to god it was the coolest fucking this I've ever seen, My neighbor opens the door and fires his shotgun out the screen door, BAM BAM BAM!. ALL DOWN IN SECONDS! we always knew having that family in the neighborhood was a good investment, they make us feel safe even in a zombie invasion! . Once things are calmed down i finally get a call even though most of the power lines are down AND ITS MY MOM AND SISTER , THEY'RE OK AND THERE AT THE SHELTER!. So we hightail it outta there out the back door and into the family van, my neighbor carried my grandpa and me with the cat carrier and we made it the the shelter.
Sorry for typos and misspellings I'm texting this from some random girls blackberry, its 2 Am and we're still here . I just want to say I love you all and be safe
- Location: in need of a boomstick
- Mood:
shocked
http://del.icio.us/imaginarycircus/lj?se
you cant take the porn from me!
Damn the man, save the fandom!
- Mood:
bitchy
On Friday the first people I met were
During this time I lost $20 because I FAIL at being a responsible adult, thankfully food was provided at
Unless I actually write out my notes from the panels this will be the last MJ entry, actually I might navel gaze about the differences between MJ and the other cons I've gone to (mosty anime cons) and what that means about my fannish experience[Bad username: ]
pops up*HELLO CAMPERS!
Long time no blog, because I am lazy. But I return now to post a very late double con report. OK first up:
MUSKRAT JAMBOREE!
This was my first LJ type con, so I didn't know exactly what to expect, I was really nervous because omg really talented fandom people including some BNF's were there, I had to make a good impression This was my first obstacle, I spent a lot of the time excusing my self and explaining I am a fandom nobody, I contribute nothing and it makes me feel guilty. I don't write very well so I don't post what little fic I do write, and a beta would simply take one look my crap and run away . My art is either stick figures or the equivalent of a third grader scribbling monkey looking people with crayons. I also don't have Photoshop so icons are out. I am simply too dumb to articulate or understand meta (FAILING OUT OF COMMUNITY COLLEGE HELLO) and vidding requires too many shiny buttons and a computer that is not ready to die any second. Reviews are a possibility but I am not very coherent and reccing requires actual taste (or maybe not?).... OK that’s enough pity party and excuses from me, moving on now... I think I succeeded in not being shunned ("OMG get the fanbrat noob away from me!"). I think I took the first step out of lurkerdom by participating in some discussion on the panels, and I apparently made some good points and people agreed with me and though I was funny. (LAUGHING WITH ME AND NOT AT ME! WOOHOO) I did take some notes on each panel but half of the stuff I wrote wasn't actually discussed out loud and I just brainstormed my own thoughts. I might post the notes later. I went to all the panels I wanted to but the Slash Closet and BSG and RL issues. I didn't care about the VM, House, or SN panels (although I'm sure they were awesome)
My second obstacle was I'm not in the dS fandom (although I think I have been converted thanks to all you CRACK PEDDLING HORS OMG) I think at times it was just a dS con, the in jokes and squee mostly fell on deaf ears. Although I did go the to dS panels because they were going to be the most popular and squeeful and I was interested in learning about the show. Also what I do know of the show is that Rayk is more popular, and I like RayV (But RayK IS hotter and apparently more slashy so ...) But other than the general atmosphere of the con being dS centered there was a great variety of multifandom panels. The SGA panels were cool, but Mcshep focused and since I don't ship them it was mostly for the tag along squee. The SG1 Jack/Daniel panel was VERY SMALL, which made me sad because they are my OTP and I like SG1 better than SGA. I talked the most at the Minor Characters and Canceled Shows and the Canon/Fanon panels. I enjoyed the HP panel in context f the end of the series. My FAVORITE panel was the SPN one though
ok apparently once I get going I type ALOT so this will be continued in the next post
- Mood:
productive
Speaking of MJ a con report (late as always) will be posted later this weekend maybe, because right now I'm getting ready for Anime Boston, and my cosplaying stuff needs to be finished, I still got to style the wig and decorate the mask. and gather stuff to be autographed.
I just added a bunch of people from MJ to, so Hi Muskrats!, I added you because I talked to you or I heard you talk and thought you rocked.
- Mood:
busy - Music:God is a dj-Pink
We also might go to the Mystic Aquarium ,but we're not sure because of the damn snow (grrrrrrr) we almost had to cancel the whole trip and i was gonna cry.. Well at least it snowed on my birthday so thats a cool gift .But today kinda sucked for a birthday. My dad yelled a lot about stupid things and we just had frozen pizza for dinner instead of something cool. But we couldn't have something special tonight because my sister was at work.Add to that that Boondock Saints(St. Paddy's Day near b-day and I'm not even irish) was not at the video store and the upstair tv is is screwed up anyway. But I really have to suck it up, because when I act like that i seem so spoiled . I'm TOTALLY AN ADULT NOW (a huh lol) Anyway hopefully tomorrow the rest of my party can commence.
Looking back at this entry and my whole LJ, You wouldn't think changed much. I still have horrible grammar , still lazy,still crazy. still totally dependent on my parentsm still no boyfriend. I guess looking at the big picture I have changed though. I never thought I'd graduate high school, get my braces off, have a license etc.. Now i just have to get a steady job, get my degree, and move out, maybe even go on a date at the very least,hopefully all in the next year or so.... yeah right.
Can you keep at secret? Thats what I wished for when I blew out the candles. I hope it comes true.
- Mood:
hopeful
Happy Smutday babies!
everyone enjoy your porn.
I'll be in my bunk :-)
*give chocolate to flist and goes to read porn*
- Mood:
horny





